Being Mindful

Tonight, after a grueling kickball game, I’m exhausted.

 SO… instead of an actual blog post here, please feel free to click the question below to head over to elephant journal to check out my thoughts on living a mindful life.

Do you have to be uptight to be mindful?

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Welcome to my bubble.

I live in a bubble.  And probably you do to.  In our lives, it seems we surround ourselves with people who pretty much think and act the same way we do.  Not exactly the same, of course, because how boring would that be?  But incredibly similar.  I have my friends who I see all the time, who pretty much know me and share a good amount of my basic beliefs.  We are health conscious, open to debates and generally, try to be mindful.  We discuss the finer points of vegan versus local diets.  We practice yoga and go running.  We have little dinner parties and hang out in the wine bar.

 

But I am quite frequently reminded that I live in a bubble with these people.

 

 

Today I saw a picture for an anti-fur ad. And I thought “Really?  People still wear fur?” I mean, at this point, hasn’t everyone seen the pictures with the baby seals?  They’re horrifying.

You know what else shocks me, smoking.  What the fuck?  Why are you still smoking?   Why is anyone still smoking?  It’s killing you and the planet and let’s face, hundreds if not thousands of migrant tobacco workers.

The other day, on a way to party, a friend and I made a quick stop in Wal Mart, somewhere that I generally refuse to shop.  and you know what I saw? Tasteycakes.  Who is eating this crap?  Somebody apparently.  Somebody way, way outside of my my bubble.

I realized that I get so used to living in my bubble, that I frequently forget about life outside the bubble.  I bet if you think about it, you’ll realize it too.  Weird, right?  Just a quick thought for the day.

 

The Game

Can I just start this post by saying… What the fuck?

I hate the game. I’ve enjoyed single life and carelessly living it for a while. But I have to say recently, my interest has been piqued. Could there be someone out there who is funny enough, charming enough, well rounded and open minded enough to make me consider performing a dirty four letter word. Oh c’mon. Get your mind out of the gutter. Date. The word I was thinking of was date. Why not, this could be fun right?

Oh fuck, was I wrong.

Dating is not fun. I’ve been so unconcerned with dating that I forgot. Not fun. And now that I’ve been doing it, I know why I never did.

Now let me clarify a couple things. First, I’ve never really dated before. Weird, right? I sort of just fell into relationships and stuck with them. I don’t actually remember having a dating phase before these past several months. Second, I’m not actually dating anyone right at this moment. And I’m pretty sure I know why. I hate The Game. A special kind of hate. The kind that should be reserved for the devil and Osama bin Laden and running sprint intervals. Playing The Game has now made the short list of things that I really, truly, deeply hate. And it’s a really short list, I just listed everything on it.

If there is even a chance you don’t know what I’m talking about, consider yourself lucky. or let me explain “The Game” as best I can. See apparently as some point as a group, single people collectively decided that communication was risky venture, only to be entered into by the very, very brave and trained professionals (i.e. our therapists.) So instead of communicating simple things like, “I think you’re great” we now have to play this little game. Because calling someone and saying “I think you’re great” is apparently not a nice thing, it’s a desperate thing. Because people hate to hear that I guess. So here are the rules to The Game, as I understand them.

1. Never appear available. What? Isn’t the point to find someone else who is also available? Being available = bad. Uh, ok, good to know.

2. Never appear interested. People say “it’s a cat and mouse game, he needs a reason to chase you.” Again, what? It’s not a fucking cat and mouse game. If the mouse walks up to the cat, the cat isn’t bored. Cat still eats mouse. Definitely NOT the same game. In this game, showing interest directly translates to being desperate.

3. Never be the first one to “reach out.” (I started to write “call” there, but let’s face, do we call anyone anymore?) Again, what? Why is this a problem? I love it when people call me. I love it when people text me. I love it when it people send me a Facebook message. Apparently it relates back to #2. Which is risky. People get confused when they go from thinking you might be interested to knowing your’re interested.

And here’s the worst part… everyone is doing it. Why? Why are we so afraid to reach out and say hello? Why are we so incapable of honest communication? Why can’t we just say “Hey, love to see you again” when we actually want to see someone again? (and for the record, it’s also ok to not say it if you don’t actually want to see someone again.)

So here’s the thing, much like running sprint intervals, I don’t generally do things I hate. And I hate the game. I’m not playing.

You know that phrase, don’t hate the player, hate the game? I fucking hate both.

Dating? Yeah, that was short lived.

I’m returning to a single, carefree life. Maybe I’ll fall into another relationship and it will just work. Maybe I’m meant to keep being single and crazy for a while (more stories with which to entertain you crazy people…) Maybe my brother and his fiancee will make some babies and I can drift happily into becoming the single, wild and crazy aunt. (I hope they’re reading this, because this plan really only works if they have babies.)

Man, that felt good to get off my chest. Time for a cocktail.