Life According to a Bumper Sticker

Some bumper stickers really get me thinking… here are the top 10 that make the list and my (usually) silent responses…

  1. “We are the 99%”Yeah, I can tell by your car.
  2. “Jesus Loves You, Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.” I think we all know who the asshole is.
  3. “I *heart* vagina.”This bumper sticker is the reason you never get laid.
  4. “I’m only speeding cause I have to poop.”Save it for the cop who pulls you over.
  5. “You’ll never walk alone.”On your car? Think about it. Take as long as you need.
  6. “My child thinks he’s an honor student at Hogwarts. It’s so sad.”Great parenting skills you’re displaying.
  7. “I was an atheist, until I realized I was God.” So, still an idiot?  Good to know.
  8. “Well behaved women rarely make me a sandwich.”Or date you.
  9. “I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a drunk.  Alcoholics go to meetings.”  Is your license suspended?  DUI perhaps?
  10. “I brew the beer I drink.” – Ok, I kinda want to date you.

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